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Sooo, this skeleton walks into a bar, says "Gimmie a beer and a mop"...
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Originally posted by Richtee View PostSooo, this skeleton walks into a bar, says "Gimmie a beer and a mop"...
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TOP TEN REASONS HALLOWEEN IS BETTER THAN SEX
10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look; the easier it is to get some.
7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you
2) Less guilt the morning after.
And the No. 1 reason why trick a treating is better than sex.........
YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!
Ba Dum Bum
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A Man w a Bald Head and a Wooden Leg gets invited to a Halloween Party.
He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his bald head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his situation and ask for costume help.
A few days later, he receives a parcel with a note.
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a Pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your Bald Head and w your wooden leg, you'll look just fine as a Pirate.
The Man thinks this is just terrible because they just empahsized his wooden leg, so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
A week passed and he received another package with a note which read
"Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a Monks Habit. The long robe will hide your wooden leg and with your Bald Head you will really look the part. Good Luck".
NOW the Man is REALLY mad since they went from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his Bald Head. SO he writes a scathing letter of complaint.
The next day, the Man receives a parcel and a note which reads
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of Caramel. Pour this over your Bald Head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a Candy Apple !Comment
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Might as well keep it going
10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
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