Richtee's 50lbs of rub arrived.

[Kyote]

this is different. it involves homeland security,US customs, ATF, EOD, DEA, el Machete', his wife Juanita, a pig, his crew and Bratzilla.
Stand by--------------for the rest of the story..

[Bassman]

I can tell you one thing, he makes an excellent rub!

[Kyote]

I can tell you one thing, he makes an excellent rub!

I do believe you bassman.
But, that is what this post is gonna be about. either or
I recieved a call from homeland security the other day. they wanted me to come down to their office for some questions. Hmmm. I headed down there and was met by the U.S. customs service along with a group of other law enforcement folks, to be specific ATF, EOD and DEA was there.
they had this huge ole package in lockup. said it arrived from hungary from a guy named Richtee.
I thought to myself, It's Richtee" rub.
they asked if I knew him and if I knew what was in the package.
I said hell yea to both questions. then I was water boarded for 6 hours, they wanted to know every thing when they were done I said thanks for the sinus rinse (I think it pissed one of the ATF guys off as he pulled his tazer)
customs cleared it as it had all the correct documents.
now the others wanted in.DEA ran the dogs through it. still okay so far. then atf took some and handed it over to the eod guys. they took it out to the bomb destroyin divice once inside they tried to detonate it. It destrioed the whole dang shootin match.But all is still okay. turned out they don't give over time and the last eod guys had put some binary stuff in there to explode and ran out of time and left it in the bomb splodin thing. did not tell the other ones lol. so with all thier crap blown up and the red faces they told me take my stuff and GIT. which I did post haste.
Got home and was gittin it out of the truck (48 pounds now as the le guys took some fer testin and said they would git back to me) I saw Bratzilla (my small girl child) and asked her to help, open doors ect, so off to the root cellar to store it. bratzilla asked if it was the stuff the teenagers liked from El Machete. I said no sweet heart this is gooder stuff Hungarian high Ordance kocane..(I have to laugh at myself) she said okay Daddy..
Now... to git pig meat to try this stuff.. where o where to git pig meat????..

[Kyote]

I had a hell of an idea. el machete might be able to help with a pig. So off i went to finca "no gringos" thats what the sign says out on the barb wire fence. there was ole machete and his crew playin dominios and sippin tea key la and talkin about all the money they made sellin burritos to the tourist.
after a couple shot of catus juice. machete asked what he could do me out of. ( he is a joker) I said I need a pig in the worst way. he then shouted loudly Juanita bring jer self out here. here comes this big womin 300 pounds easy. and thats just the one hooter I saw hangin out that some little kids were suckingh on. (I thought he was going to have her help me get the pig) as el machete was winnin at the dominio game and if he had a gottin up the others would have cheated on him. he says bring her back before she has to fed me. well, I said no el machete I need one to cook. try a new rub on. at this time Juanita says to me gringo pendaho ju don't know what yuo missin as she ajusted her self and walked off. she had no teeth that I could see. ( is smoked meat an african dezy act?). I might have to take one for the team one day.
finally got the pig loaded up and I was headed home. a little dizzy from all the cactus juice.
Backed the ole trailer up to the clothes line. now to kill it. so, off to the gun vault I go. I was in there almost an hour lookin at the fine tool of shootin. then I remembered why I was in there. the 458 was to much on the big cow. so I thought it might be way to much for mr. pig.
So I choosed the custom .416 remington mag and found some reloaded barnes triple shocks of unknown weight. SWEEET I thought. this ought to do the job. Hey and I rememberd safty thgis time back stop for the bullet. yes..
I grab a hand full of chili pods and put them on the dirt ground behind the trailer. mr. pig was calmed down now. and I thought I will just let him out and when he comes out and see's the pods he will put his head down and I will blast the bejesus out of him.( as I write this, I can see where a whole bunch of things could have gone terribly wrong.)
any way all went well the pig came out stopped at the chili pods to take his last snack.
I put the iron sight a little high dead center of his lookers. squeesed the trigger and kablam she went then KABOOM who woulda thunk a gas line ran thru my place. the fire department saved the house but my shed needs some rebuildin real bad. like from the ground up. they used all the water in the pool as no hydrents around these parts. that dang bullets traveled a good 2 ft into the earth after it took most of the head off mr pig. (next time I will use something a little less potent).
the explostion from the gas line blew that pig up and cooked must him to. but it did blow a whole side of them there nice ribs off to the roof. which I climbed up and retrieved. a little fancy knife work and they weeeeere good as new.
so I went to git some zip lock bags which I bought on sale at a store near by. whole case I did buy. need one for some of Richtees rub to put on the ribs. well when I got to the bottom of the root cellar ther was hardly any rub bout 2 oz left in the drum. I figured I need to get to the bottom of this and started calling the high school kids. turns out bratzilla and her friends baggged it up and was selling it to the high school kids and callin it hungarian high ordanance kocane. turns out the dea found out bout this also. bratzilla told them what she had gone and did. turns out they remembered me and the samples they took. the lab told them it was a pork rub with fresh ingredints. they loved it and ended up buyin several pounds from her to do a fund raising to buy another bomb expoldin devise.
finaly got the rub on the pig parts and smoked it.

Richtee's rub

now ltes see if I can put some photos for yer Q-view plesure.

[Kyote]

meg's pics 099.jpg

meg's pics 101.jpg

meg's pics 131.jpg

meg's pics 132.jpg

one rib was with richtees and the other two were with two types of Bubba's stuff.

all were very good. and went faster then a hot dog hittin the floor with with a coon hound close by.
its hard to say this was better then that ect. I like trying em all. and so far I would use them again. rich thanks it was very good okay very great. okay it was the bestest..lol

[Richtee]

Hah! Glad you had enough pig left! I've had cook sessions go bad...but not THAT bad...YET!